A cry for help!

Hello friends,

20140323_221121Social networks these days are full of impressing attempts of notables, celebrities and “wanna be” celebrities, whom are being poured buckets of icy waters on the head in front of camera to attract attentions to, and to raise fund to support the research about one of our historical enemies called ALS. Dear friends, please accused me not of once again craving to acquire something luxury and superfluous to my life, as being a celebrity is a matter of life and death to my career now, more than any time else.

I feel I am a lady in midlife, about to pass fifty, and writing is my last opportunity to have a child of my own. My blog, my love of life, my gorgeous toddler but still ugly to your eyes, is badly sick now. I have been banging my head against the wall trying to figure out what my problem was and I had come up with the idea that a sort of notability, and of course accompany with a bucket of icy water, would be a kiss of life to my patient, and that why I am crying for help.

Human being has long been a prey to various diseases and confronted big enemies such as: ignorance, illiteracy, prejudice, bigotry and some contemporary blood-thirsty enemies such as HIV and Ebola. There is, however, a disease, an enemy whom all human being have been precluded from its victims but me, a lifelong nonentity. It threatens my happiness, my career, and my dream. A bucket of icy water is needed here to drag attentions toward my problem, to come up with an idea to write about it, and if it happened so, be something I can post it on my blog.

I have got a sort of idea paralysis. Hardly ever a good idea flashes out of my mind and it’s horrifying. It makes me feel dull and lodged in a wrong career. Think not that it’s always like this as within morning showers lots of ideas popped out of my mind but it goes blank after shower, even a finest trace of them cannot be found. I wish there were waterproof pen and papers the same as electrical shavers with which one can shave underwater.

I don’t know really who I am writing for, what my blog’s target market is. I feel native English speakers choke their nostrils while pass my blog by, or at the very best they consider it as an attempt of a rookie to swim hopelessly in a deep pool, get drawn or give up trying soon. And those who never caught English reading bug have natural alibi to be precluded of my audience. And the last group, those whose English is their second language, like myself, I desperately try to attract their attention, still haven’t shown a courage to write a comment. They prefer to make a phone call rather than a comment on the blog.

You might say if my blog had a strong message, everything else a lot less mattered. Native speakers would condone my weird style of writing and for non-natives would even worth a go to translate it. You have made a very good point and I have a great witness for my acknowledgement. Some of my fellow home village men are great witnesses. They haven’t been at all within my target audience as I knew they had only a smattering of English, yet their philanthropic senses instigate them to find my characteristic flows by reading even between the lines of those few blogs I have dared to post so far.
You might say forget about your village when I am talking to the world and advise me to look for my unique voice and my pack professionally and read about what it takes to find my own voice and the kind of audience my writing deserves. Once again you are right. The problem is; whatever idea which I can come up with or I give birth to it, is about something like taboos or controversial concepts such as politics and religion that I have decided to stay away from them since the day one.

You might say, ok, start with your Facebook buddies, former classmates. To your knowledge, I haven’t got any like on my Facebook about something that I have posted even from the quotes of prominent writers. Yet I have some buddies that like my posts, regardless of what I have posted, actions based on barter. I liked theirs they liked mine. And my former classmates, I can’t remember they had delivered me even a non-emotional smile to the jokes that I had almost been killed by. How I can count on them now?

Some people’s minds reject anything which needs consuming some of their brain phosphorous. Anything beyond the knowledge they have found from Korean dramas would be perplexing and make them feel sleepy. They are lazy to go over shallow things and above the commonplace. It would be fine if my blog was about things like the best noodle shop in our area. Some people like things simple, and lack the patience to pursue a person who confuses them.

You might say do not bother creating depth for people who are insensitive to it, or who may even be put off or disturbed by it. You can recognize such types by their preference for the simpler pleasures in life, their lack of patience for a more nuanced story. With them, keep it simple. Besides, I can’t fly alongside my blogs in order to explain for some audience what message I am going to convey. But what can I do? I can’t switch my direction. To me some mundane matters are banal, real information and whatever in the news doesn’t interest me.

You might say I am overambitious, barking at the moon, and you are wrong my friend. If you are already a celebrity, you have to write a book, or somebody else, a ghostwriter for instance write it on your behalf, to educate others and fulfill social expectations from you, or to collect some money as an author too. I am not this kind and it doesn’t attract me. I cannot think myself into that celebrity place for a moment, how terrible it could be writing about banal events in my past life which have become so important now. And if you are just a great man like me, I hope I was, and not recognized by anybody else, you have to write your book first, then your audience judge you and everything is depended on their decision.

And eventually it’s time to thank you for not giving the advice: “quit for incompetency” and an uttered one: “you need more perseverance” and the golden one: “write what you would want to read”. And if you fancy what I really want, the time is now ripe to tell you. Since the time I have said no to anything I wasn’t passionate about I have wanted to make my dream a reality, to be who I was born to, a writer. Yet it’s not my urgent need. Simply stating, I want your relationship. I want to be my friend.
Take care!



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